I am not OBSESSED! No matter what
that so called doctor said. He's not
even from around here. Why, in the
interview (my husband arranged it,
he's finally showing an interest in my
research), I couldn't find a single
SURNAME that the doctor and I had in
common!

I went searching for an ancestor, I cannot find him still.
He moved around from place to place, and did not leave a will.
He married where a courthouse burned, he mended all his fences,
He avoided any man who came to take the U.S. Census.
He always kept his luggage packed, this man who had no fame,
And every 20 years or so, this rascal changed his name.
His parents came from Europe, they should be upon some list,
Of passengers to the USA, but somehow they got missed.
And no one else in this world is searching for this man;
So I play gene-solitaire to find him if I can.
I'm told he's buried in a plot, with tombstone he was blessed;
But the weather took engraving and some vandals took the rest.
He died before the county clerks decided to keep records.
No Family Bible has emerged in spite of all my efforts.
To top it off this ancestor, who caused me many groans,
Just to give me one more pain, betrothed a girl named Jones.

GENEALOGY POX
 

WARNING! GENEALOGY POX: very contagious to adults.
Symptoms: continual complaint as to need for names, dates and places.
Patient has blank expression, sometimes deaf to spouse and children.
Has no taste for work of any kind, except feverishly looking through
records at libraries and courthouses. Has compulsion to write letters.
Swears at mailman when he doesn't leave mail. Frequents strange
places such as cemeteries, ruins and remote desolate country areas.
Makes secret night calls, hides phone bills from spouse. Mumbles
to self. Has strange, faraway look in eyes.
NO KNOWN CURE!
TREATMENT: Medication is useless. Disease is not fatal, but gets
progressively worse. Patient should attend genealogy workshops,
subscribe to genealogical magazines and be given a quiet corner in
the house where he can be alone.
REMARKS: The disease is unusual in that the sicker the patient gets,
the more he enjoys it!

WHEN I DIE!

When I Die, Bury Me In Wal Mart’s
Parking Lot…
So My Wife Will
Visit Me Every Day!

I LOVE YOU
I  love you more today
Than Yesterday
Cause Yesterday;
You got on My
NERVES!!!

Dear Lord
If you can’t make me  Skinny
Please make my friends FAT !!!

I am Woman,
I am invincible,
I am TIRED!!!

Granny's are just
Antique
Little Girls !

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
And today? Today is the gift.
That's why we call it 'The Present'.
Unwrap it with a smile!

    Genealogist don't die they just lose their census.

STRANGERS IN THE BOX (Author Unknown)

Come, look with me inside this drawer,
In this box I've often seen,
At the pictures, black and white,
Faces proud, still, and serene.

I wish I knew the people,
These strangers in the box,
Their names and all their memories,
Are lost among my socks.

I wonder what their lives were like,
How did they spend their days?
What about their special times?
I'll never know their ways.

If only someone had taken time,
To tell, who, what, where, and when,
These faces of my heritage,
Would come to life again.

Could this become the fate,
Of the pictures we take today?
The faces and the memories,
Someday to be passed away?

Take time to save your stories,
Seize the opportunity when it knocks,
Or someday you and yours,
Could be strangers in the box.

DEAR ANCESTOR:
Your tombstone stands among the rest;
Negelected and alone.
The name and date are chiseled out on
polished, marbled stone.

It reaches out to all who care
It is too late to mourn.
You did not know that I exist,
You died and I was born.

Yet each of us are cells of you
In flesh, in blood, in bone.
Our blood contracts and beats a pulse
Entirely not our own.

Dear Ancestor, the place you filled
One hundred years ago
Spreads out among the ones you left
Who would have loved you so.

I wonder if you lived and loved,
I wonder if you knew
That someday I would find this spot,
and come to visit you.
Written by: Unknown

 WHITE ROSES (GET THE KLEENEX! )
     I hurried into the local department store to grab some last minute Christmas gifts.
     I looked at all the people and grumbled to myself.  I would be in here forever and I just had so much to do.
Christmas was beginning to become such a drag. I kind a wished that I could just sleep through Christmas.
     But I hurried the best I could through all the people to the toy department.
     Once again I kind of mumbled to myself at the prices of all these toys,
and wondered if the grandkids would even play with them.  I found myself in the doll aisle.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little boy about age five holding a lovely doll.
He kept touching her hair and he held her so gently. I could not seem to help myself.
I just kept looking over at the little boy and wondered who the doll was for.
I watched him turn to a woman and he called his aunt by name and said, "Are you sure I don't have
enough money".  She replied a bit impatiently, "You know that you don't have enough
money for it."  The aunt told the little boy not to go anywhere that she
had to go get some other things and would be back in a few minutes.  And
then she left the aisle.  The boy continued to hold the doll. After a bit
I asked the boy who the doll was for.  He said, "It is the doll my sister wanted so badly for Christmas.
She just knew that Santa would bring it." I told him that maybe Santa was going to bring it.
     He said "No, Santa can't go where my sister is...I have to give the doll to my Mamma to take to her".
I asked him where his sister was.  He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, "She has gone to be with Jesus."
My Daddy says that Mama is going to have to go be with her. My heart nearly stopped beating.
     Then the boy looked at me again and said, I told my Daddy to tell Mama not to go yet.
I told him to tell her to wait till I got back from the store."
Then he asked me if I wanted to see his picture. I told him I would love to.
He pulled out some pictures he'd had taken at the front of the store.
He said "I want my Mamma to take this with her so she don't ever forget me."
     "I love my Mama so very much and I wish she did not have to leave me. But, Daddy
says she will need to be with my sister."
     I saw that the little boy had lowered his head and had grown so very
quiet.  While he was not looking reached into my purse and pulled out a handful of bills.
I asked the little boy, "Shall we count that money one more time? He grew excited and said
"Yes, I just know it has to be enough". So I slipped my money in with is and we began to count it.
Of course it was plenty for the doll. He softly said, "Thank you Jesus, for giving me enough money."
     Then the boy said, "I just asked Jesus to give me enough money to buy this doll, so
Mama can take it with her to give to my sister." "And he heard my prayer.
"I wanted to ask him for enough to buy my Mama a white rose, but I didn't ask him, but he gave
me enough to buy the doll and a rose for my Mama." "She loves white
roses so very, very much". In a few minutes the aunt came back and I wheeled
my cart away. I could not keep from thinking about the little boy as
I finished my shopping in a totally different spirit than when I had started.
     And I kept remembering a story I had seen in the newspaper several days earlier
about a drunk driver hitting a car and killing a little girl and the Mother
was in serious condition.  The family was deciding on whether to remove the
life support.  Now surely this little boy did not belong with that story.
     Two days later I read in the paper where the family had disconnected
the life support and the young woman had died.  I could not
forget the little boy and just kept wondering if the two were somehow connected.Later
that day, I could not help myself and I went out and bought some white roses and took
them to the funeral home where the young woman was. And there she was holding
a lovely white rose, the beautiful doll, and the picture of the little boy
in the store. I left there in tears, my life changed forever. The love that boy had for his little sister and
his mother was overwhelming. And in a split second a drunk driver ripped the life of that little boy to pieces.

You now have the choice, you can touch some ones life:
(1) Pass this on to all your friends and people you know.
(2) Delete it and act like Jesus didn't touch your heart at all?
(3) Jesus is watching you!
Friends there are "Angels" who lift us to our feet when our wings have
trouble remembering how to fly."

A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS

 Skinny people irritate me!  Especially when
 they say things like, "You know sometimes I just
 forget to eat."  Now I've forgotten my address,
 my mother's maiden name, and my keys.
 But I've never forgotten to eat.  You have to be a
 special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

 A friend of mine confused her valium with her
 birth control pills.  She had 14 kids, but she
 doesn't really care.

 They keep telling us to get in touch with our
 bodies.  Mine isn't all that communicative but I
 heard from it the other day after I said, "Body,
 how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in
 vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said,
 "listen witch... do it and die."

 The trouble with some women is that they get all
 excited about nothing (and then they marry him.)

 I read this article that said the typical symptoms
 of stress are eating too much, smoking too
 much, impulse buying, and driving too fast.  Are
 they kidding?  That is my idea of a perfect day.

 I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is
 that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

 "If men can run the world, why can't they stop
 wearing neckties?  How intelligent is it to start
 the day by tying a noose around your neck?"

An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they
decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor`s, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to
start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

      The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asks,
"Where are you going?"
He replies, "To the kitchen." She asks, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replies, "Sure." She then asks him, "Don`t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He says, "No, I can remember that."

She then says, "Well I also would like some strawberries on top. You had
better write that down because I know you`ll forget that."

He says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replies, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."

      With irritation in his voice, he says, "I don`t need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"

A Child's Ten Commandments to Parents"
 
 1. My hands are small; please, don't expect perfection
 whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball.
 My legs are short; please, slow down so that I can keep
 up with you.
 
 2. My eyes have not seen the world as your's have; please
 let me explore safely. Don't restrict me unnecessarily.
 
 3. Housework will always be there. I'm only little for a
 short time, please, take time to explain things to me about
 this wonderful world and do so willingly.
 
 4. My feelings are tender; please, be sensitive to my
 needs. Don't nag me all day long. ( You wouldn't want
 to be nagged for your inquisitiveness). Treat me as you
 would like to be treated.
 
 5. I am a special gift from God; please, treasure me as
 God intended you to do, holding me accountable for my
 actions, giving me guidelines to live by and disciplining
 me in a loving manner.
 
 6. I need your encouragement to grow. Please, go easy
 on the criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I
 do without criticizing me.
 
 7. Please, give me the freedom to make decisions
 concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn
 from my mistakes. Then someday I'll be prepared to
 make the kinds of decisions that life requires of me.
 
 8. Please, don't do things over for me. Somehow that
 makes me feel that my efforts didn't quite measure up
 to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please, don't
 try to compare me to my brother or sister.
 
 9. Please, don't be afraid to leave for a weekend together.
 Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need
 vacations from kids. Besides, it's a great way to show us
 kids that your marriage is very special.
 
 10. Please, take me to Sunday School and church or
 synagogue regularly, setting a good example for me to
 follow. I enjoy learning more about God.